


Chef-d'oeuvre

by LordOfTheFlutes



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, NSFW, hot sauce kink, shuuneki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:27:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfTheFlutes/pseuds/LordOfTheFlutes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Kaneki had to experience the events at the ghoul restaurant, he's been having nightmares about Tsukiyama. But there are other feelings there too... Will he be able to sort them out? A Kaneki x Tsukiyama romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An ordinary day

It was a beautiful day outside Anteiky Cafe. The bees were shining and the birds were blooming. On days like these, Kaneki ken would serve coffee to customers human ad ghoul alike with a smile.

Just then, a familiar purplette waltzed into the cafe. It was tsukiyama. He was wearing a ridiculous neon pink suit with an indigo tie. Kaneki sighed. Him and his horrific fashion sense weren't welcome here. "What du you want this time, tsukiyama-kun" he said sighing again extra loudly to make sure the Gourmet heard him.

Tsukiyama sat down at the neatest table and crossed his legs dramatically on top of the table. "Ne t'inquiete pas, mon cherry," he said in French, "I'm not here to try anything this time . I just wanted to tell you somethign important."

Kaneki looked up, from the coffee mug he had absentmindedly been shining while trying to ignore stukiyama's antics. What could he mean? Could it be something to do with how he became a half ghoul? Or that Jason guy? "Just tell me then, and leave quickly. I'd rather not bring anyone else into this if I can avoid it."

Tsukiyama stood up and approached Kaneki, a sly grin on his face. Kaneki had seen this look before and it was Bad News Bears. A shiver ran down kanekis spine as the purplette grabbed his shoulder and leaned in close. Kaneki was suddenly terrified that Tsunami wpuld lick his ear or something but instead he only whispered:

"Omelette du fromage."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked chapter 1 of my first fic! In the next chapter they'll be going upstairs... To the bedroom ;)


	2. A STEAMY encounter

Kanekis heart started beating faster. Was tsukiyama trying to seduce him?  
"Tsukiyama-kun, what are you doing?~" he yelped in surprise. The gourmet only pulled him around and looked into his eyes. 

"Kaneki-kun, I'm here for the SESSO," he cooed, (which meant sex in italian).

Keneki blushed, his eyes widening. He was scared of tsukyiama, but at the same time, hadn't this been what he was dreaming of? Sure it might be dangerous and would probably end in cannibalism, but this could finally be his chance. 

"A-alright," he stuttered, "there's a room upstairs..." Then that same grin came over the purplette's face. 

"MAGNIFICO!" 

The two sneakily snuck into the apartment room above the cafe. then Kaneki locked the door. Tsukiyama posed dramatically and fabulously over the bed, a rose between his teeth. He looked seductively at Kaneki. 

"You look frightened, Kaneki-kun~," he said sexily. "Don't you trust me?" 

What could Kaneki say to that? "It's a little hard to, after you literally tried to eat me like twice" he responded.

"Let's just let bygones be bygones, mom délicieux. It's a new day, isn't it?" Tskiiyama looked into kanekis eyes, a calming, trustwrothy look, the rose dancing between his lips like a ballerina. Kaneki could tell he was sincere. 

"Alright. I trust you. I'm ready." He said confidently.

"But Kaneki-kun, is your BODY ready?!" 

"MY BODY IS READY!!!!!!" Kaneki shouted at maximum volume, ripping his shirt off. His ripped ghoul abs glistened and gave off anime sparkles. Tsukyiama screamed "HOLY DOLCE" and began ripping his clothes off also. He kissed Kaneki furiously, on the neck and then on the mouth before slipping his tongue inside. 

"dude wtf??!" Kanekki coughed, spitting. 

"It's a French kiss~" Tsukiyama added.

"Oh, ok". said Kaneki.

They were making out on the bed when suddenly, Touka kicked down the door and burst into the room. 

"KANEKI YOU BAKA!!!!" She screamed angrily, "WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING!!!1!"

"It's not what it looks like!!!" Kaneki cried, trying to hide tsukiyama under the bedsheets. 

"I thought *I* was your ghoulfriend!!!" She said with tears in her eyes, before running off crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: hope you liked that steamy scene! Next we'll find out what happens with Touka and Kaneki????


	3. Only One

Kaneni stood up in a flash. "Touka, wait!" But she was already gone.

"You have to go talk to her," tsikiyama said, pulling his hot neon pink pants back on. "Tell her you belong to ME or i will fdo it FOR YOU" he yelled agressively.

"No, i can handle this," kanike whispers, tears streaming down his face. "She's my friend and i have to let her down easily. She might snap or something."

"But KANEKI-Kun let me come WITH UYO" Tsukiyama cried, waving his arms frantically in the air. "WE WERE JUST GETTING TO THE FROMAGE~"

"No tsukiyama, you have to stay here. I will be right back, i promise."

He left the room and tsukiyama behind, his arm stretched out toward kaneki, as if he were trying to grasp somehting he would never have.

**********************************************************************

KAneki shuffled out into the hallway, where Toukan was still crying. "Listen, Touka-chan, I need to tell you something."

"I've already seen it for myself, you stupid baka. I know you like that cannibalistic piece of trash." she grumped in a huff.

"Touka, technically, we're all cannibals." Kaneki answered.

"He's still trash, though." Touka added.

"But he's HOT trash." sighed kaneki, gazing into the distance like a blind man. "Like, REALLY hot trash."

"Cant argue with that" said tooka"

********************************************************************

**TSUKIYAMA POV**

WHAT WAS TAKING KANEKI SO LONG????!!!!!

Tsukiyama couldnt handle waiting for the sweet, tender, ~~juicy~~ embrace of his future ~~meal~~ boyfriend, and so decided to do siometihing about this. He left his rose, and a note written in fancy handwriting near the window,before diving out headfirst dramatically.

"SOOON" he said to himself........

******************************************************************8

**BACK TO KANEKI POV**

"Listen, Touka-chan" kaneki started, "We were never technically dating in the first place, so i dont see why this is such an issue." Kaneki rubbed his forhead, and was starting to get a migrain or something. Sure, he didn;t know exactly what he saw in Tsukiyama Shuu, but there was just somethuing that felt RIGHT. Like one of the puzzle pieces in his broken, shattered world, had beeen put into place.

"FINE, but just so yu know, my heart has been shattered into a milion pieces," said touka, looking like her heart had been shattered into a million pieces.

KAneki stood up and shouted "ALRIGHT!" Sending his fist flying into the air. "FUCKIN SCORE!!!"

****************************************************************************

Kaneki came back to the apartment room as promised and looked around. But Tsukiyami and his hot pink pantsukiyamas were nowhere to be seen. Had he gotten dissappointed and gone home? Then, kaneki saw near the window aletter written in fancy handwriting. It smelled like roses because it was next to a rose, but also kind of like strawberries and HUMAN BLOOOD. it said:

"KaneKI meet meat my place so we can FINISH THIS  
-Tsunami"

Kanekis heart lept with joy and some fear also as welll. He had fuckin scored, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DOES TSUKIYIMA HAVE IN STORE THIS TIME?? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTERE OF cHEF D'oEVRE dont forget to comment and give kudos :3c


	4. THINGS GET SPICY

~~~~Kaneki showed up at Tsukiyama's house one hour later. He was wearing his fanciest, blackest suit and his kawaiii eye patch. He had considered putting on his sweet smelling colon but it was probably for the best to not risk that.

Tsukiyama's house was huge, because he  was really rich. It was kind of peculiar that there existed such prominent ghoul families seeing as they were constantly being persecuted. But whatever lol 

He stepped up to the doorbell and pressed the button.

DING DOOOOOONG

but the man who answered the door was not tsukiyama it was some sort of butler? 

"Come in," he said, sstroking his butler towel, "The master is waiting for you upstairs." 

 

********************************************

 

Kaneki strolled into tsukiyama s  bedroom. He opened the door with a creak. The sight that awaited him was shockign. 

In the centre of the room, tsukiyama was draped over his piano. He was ass naked except for a tight pair of briefs, and covered in rose petals. He pulled out a bottle of hot sauce and dumped it in his chest, Rrubbing it into his nipples. 

"Kaneki-kuuuuuun~" he moaned licking ihs lips. "Come closer......."

Kaneki started screAming. He reached for the door. "tsukyiama-kun please explain!" 

"There's something you might not know about ghouls..." Tsukiyam said, standing up. He drew closer to kaneki  . "See, most people think the only thing ghouls and humans can taste in the same way is coffee." Kaneki nodded shivering. He had tested this himself. 

"They're wrong. There are actually 3 things. The second is **1000000** **SCOVILLE HOT SAUCE**." 

"Then what's the third one?" Kaneki asked. 

"Doritos Sweet Chilli Heat, but that's irrelevant. Come on," tsukiyama whispered. " _Try some_ " he took some hot sauce and spread it on kanekis lips. Burning aside, he was right. It was the same. Kaneki had the weirdest homer. He started to unbutton his shirt. 

Tsukiyama pulled him over to the bed, and started running hot sauce on kanekis nipples. It burned but in a good way. Soon kaneki Was completely covered in hot sauce. Tsukiyama started to lick the sauce off of kakenis body. He nipped at his arm a bit. 

"OW could you not do that??!"

"kaneki-kun it's your fault for being so _dolce_ ~" tsukiyama murmred biting him again

"you know I don't speak French!!!" 

Then, they both pulled out their meat sausages and waggled them together. Tsunami flipped over and kaneki rammed his ghoul donger into tsukiyamis toasty buns, usung hot sauce as lube. 

"FORTISSIMO" stukiyama shouted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to end it so early but I need sleep. hope that was HOT enough for you ;)


	5. DISASTER STRIKES

It was a few days after kaneki and tsukiyama had their intimate hot moment together. They had become a real couple at this point, and we're getting ready to announce to everyone that they were dating. 

They were sitting together in a coffee shop that want Antieku it was somewhere else. They gazed lovingly into each others eyes. Kaneki was wearing his cute blue hoodie and jeans. Tsukiyama was wearing a different suit that was a nice lovely shade of the blood of his enemies.

"You smell FANTASTIQUE today, kaneki-kun" said the purplette, stroking kanekis face and hair. "What's up with that?" 

"Oh, I decided to put on my sweet smelling colon" said kanope, posing sexily as the sun hit his face. "Isn't it HOT?" 

"AAAAAAAHHHH TRES BIEN TRES BIEN" tsukiyama cried. He started to drool a little bit. "Kaneki-kun, will you excuse me for a moment? I'm just going to the washroom" he added and left Kaneki alone with his thoughts. 

Kaneki smiled to himself. That Tsukiyama Shuu. What a character. He was so flamboyant and passionate, and smart! Look at all the languages he knew! He even plays piano ! But then kanekis thoughts were suddently interrupted. 

Some guy burst through the coffe shop window wearing a hockey mask. everyone ran for the exit except Kaneki, who was too stunned to move. 

"YOURE THE ONE-EYE WITH RIZE-CHAN'S SCENT???" 

kanekis eyes widened and he tried to look for an escape roop, but Jason's goonies were surrounding him.

"YOURE COMIN' WITH ME, PUNK." 

Jason (yamori) grabbed Kaneki by the hoodie and dragged him out of the cafe. Kaneni yelled for help but the screams of all the other people just drowned him out. 

"TASUKETE, TSUKIYAMA-SAN!!!!!"

****************************************

TSUKIYAMA POV:

After taking a long piss, Tsukiyama returned from the restroom. But something was amiss!!! His eyes flung across the room. Where was that scent he so adored?? The cafe was in taters, and his Kaneki was missing! 

"Mon dieu!! My Kaneki senses are tingling!" He cried, and sprinted out of the cafe. He had to find kanike soon before some other ghoul peasant got to eat him first. 

"KANEKI-KUN IM COMING FOR YOU DOMT WORRy" the Gourmet screamed, flying down the streets of Tokyo. He sniffed the air. Kaneki wasn't too far away yet. 

****************************************

BACK TO KANEKI POV: 

Yamori (Jason) had chained Kaneki up in a chair. He was pacing around Kaneki as he talked. 

"Say, Kaneki," he said creepily, "do you have any hobbies?" 

"Uh, only r-reading, I guess" Kaneki answered, terrified. Why was everyone so obsessed with him specifically? He tried not to cry

"Well, that's a great hobby." Said Jason, cracking his fingers. "But I have a better one. Ask me what it is." 

"W-what is your h-hobby?" Kaneki shivred. 

"ITS BDSM" yamori roared, pulling out a sheet of paper. He then proceeded to papercut all of the skin flaps between kanekis fingers, one by one. Kaneki screamed with pain. 

"What's 1000 minus 7???!!!" Jason shouted, giving kAneki another papercut.

Kaneki started to cry. He had failed high school math. "TSUKIYAMA-KUN, WHERE ARE YOU??!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!" 

As if he had been summoned, the purplette burst fdown the door. 

"MON CHERRI, I am HERE TO SAVE YOU!" He yelled, looking like a knight in shining armour. 

"Oh no, not this guy...." Yamori groaned, whipping out his kagune. The battle was about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: will Tsukiyama be able to save Kaneki??? I sure hope so........


	6. The rescue

Kanekis heart fluttered like an angry bee. "tsukiyama-kun! You came for me!" 

"I sure did," the purplette grinned, his kagune popping out of his back and forming the same knife drill thing he had tried to kill kaneki with only a few weeks ago. "I'm the only one allowed to enjoy someone as sweet as yoy~" he added with a wonk. 

Kanemi wanted to get up and hug Tsukiyama but he was still tied to a chair. "Be careful Tsukiyama-sama, he's stronger than he looks! He's a ghoul cannibal!!!" 

"Kaneki I thought you understood by now that technically all ghouls are cannibals?" Tsukiyama said confusedly.

"THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!"

Then, yamori, sick of all the talking, ran toward tsukiyams. He slammed his gigantic arm blob kagune into the gourmet's chest when he wasn't looking. 

"FUKKin MERDE" tsukiyama shouted as he got slammed into a wall. 

"Get wrecked!" Jason cried, getting closer to the purplette. tsukiyama could not stand up. He swung his blade thing kagune. around, only to be intercepted by the blob thing kagune. It looked like it was the end for him!

Kaneki stopped crying. If he didn't do something, they would both probably die. Suddenly motivated, he started to focus. 

"I'M GOING GHOUL!" Kaneki yelled.  
The area around him glowed with a mystical hot pink light, and his hair suddenly changed from black to white, like Danny Phantom. His one kakugan went red and he snapped the chains, standing up. 

"HOLY TOLEDO" yamori shouted, shocked. 

"MAIS QUOI????!!!" Tsukiyama agreed. He cracked his back and got up. off of the ground

Kaneki summoned his kakuna, which was bright red with 4 tentacle things. He used them to crawl over to Jason like a spider and then stabbed him 37 times in the chest. 

"DIE YOU CREEP!" 

Yamori laid on the floor. He was steel breathing. Tsukiyama came over to him, grinning his purplette trademarked grin. "Don't ever talk to me or mon casse-croûte ever again. He is mine alone!"Then stukiyama decapitated him with his huge-ass blade. 

Tsukiyama ran over to Kaneki. He picked him up and threw him into the air as if he were a small child. "Mon cherrie, what happened to your hair??! You look like you have Marie Antoinette Syndrome~!"

"Idk" shrugged Kaneki. "It just sort of happened." 

"Well, it suits you." Tsukiyama said, pulling him closer to his chest and sniffing his hair. Then He picked up the tired half-ghoul and carried him back to anteikui, bridal style. It had Ben a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: what a plot twist!!!! Anyway there's gonna be a few more chapters of this coming it's not done yet!!1 don't forget to leave comments and kudos XD


	7. Recovery

THREE DAYS LATER

kaneki layed in bed one evening, still recovering from being tortured. He had already mostly healed,and was now basically just recovering emotionally. He was depressed and lonely and seriously needed a hug.

he was sipping his coffee and crying, and drinking some coffee, when he heard a THUNK against his window. He went over and peeked his head out. Tsukiyama Shuu was throwing rocks at his window. Another rock hit Kaneki square in the face. 

"Ow" said Kaneki, even though he couldn't feel pain anymore. "What are you doing down there?!" 

"BONSOIR, MY SWEET KANEKI-KUN~" he shouted, pulling out a ukulele. "I AM HERE TO WOO YOU!!!!!!" 

"Oh dear" said Kaneki, worried that he would get arrested for noise complaints. "Isn't it a little late for that??" 

"NON I WILL SING YOU THIS LOVE SONG AND YOU WILL BE WOOED!!" He answered and then strummed his ukulele 

"Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
That is how I know you go on"

Kanek gassped in shock. The purplette's voice was like a shower of silk caressing his whole body.

"Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on"

A tiny tear rolled down kaneki's eye as tsukiyama reached the chorus. 

"NEAR, FAR, WHEREVER YOU ARE, I BELIEVE THAT THE HEART DOES GO ON" 

Kaneki joined him to finish the chorus and together they posed and sang beautifully in the sunset. 

"ONCE MORE, YOU OPEN THE DOOr, AND YOURE HERE IN MY HEART, AND MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON" they both cried together in the night 

Then tsukiyama almost cried. He stopped playing the ukulele and shouted into the void "TROP BEAU!!!" before passing out on kaneki's doorstep. 

"Uh oh" said Kaneko. He rushedto the bottom floor to try to help tsukiyama.

Kaneki picked the gourmet up and carried him bridal style back into his bedroom, and laid him gently onto his futon. Then he cuddled next to him and drifted off to sleep. It was funny, he thought, that he could ever be scared of someone so much and have it turn out like this. Dating a cannibal had turned out to be one of the best decisions of his life. which could still end at any moment. 

********************

The next morning Kaneki had slept in late. Not good, I'll be late for my shift, he thought as he regained consciousness. He opened his eyes to see Tskiyama shaking him furiously! 

"Kaneki-kun, wake up s'il vous plait!!"   
He was saying, his eyes wedened. 

"Mmmmfffvwhat is it shuskihama-bro" 

"I have important news!!" He said and leaned in close to kaneki's face,

"I'm pregnant."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: HOO BOY WHO WPULD HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING???!!! all will be explained in the next chapter don't worry!!! ;) plz leave a like comment and subscribe


	8. C'est vrai...

Kaneki was silent. He had to be joking, right? Guys couldn't get pregnent. 

"You're joking, right?" Kaneki assed. "Guys can't get pregnent." 

THe purplette shook his head, making his hot purple locks fling gently in the breeze. "Human men can't, but ghouls can." 

Kaneki was so confused. "I don't believe you." He whispered. 

Tsukiyama held up a pregnancy test. "I peed on this while you were sleeping. C'est vrai!" The test read positive!!!

"Oh shit" said Kaneki. "Dude wait a second, does that mean I could be pregnant too?" 

"Non, you're only half ghoul. I don't think your biology would change that much." tsukiyama responded sexily. 

"Well what are we supposed to do now!!! I can't support a child!? I WORK FOR A COFFEE SHOP AND LIVE OFF MINIMUM WAGE!!" Kaneki started to cry again for like the third time this week. What sort of child could it even be? A half-half-ghoul? 

"We'll raise it together. Get married! Live together in harMONYYYYYYY!!!!" Tskamiyami shouted orgasmically, his eyes rolling backwards into his head. This only made Kaneki more worried. 

"How does that even work? I thought ghouls and humans couldn't have children together? What sort of child would that even make??" Kaneki said and then grabbed a nearby pillow and screamed into it. 

"I don't know, but I bet it would be ᵈᵉᶫᶦᶜᶦᵒᵘˢ" the gourmet whsipered 

"What was that?!" 

"What? I didn't say anythign." 

"Ok listen Shuu we need to set some boundaries here, okay?" Kaneki said crossing his arms to show anger. "FIRST OF ALL if we're gonna be a family that means you can't eat our baby alright?" 

tsukiysma nodded reluctantly. He PROBABLY wasn't going to do that anywAy. 

"Second, that means you can't eat me either. Stop drooling RIGHT THIS INSTANT" 

The purplette stopped drooling and gave kaneki a wink. "Not even in bed?" He said in his sexy ghoul voice, and licked his lips. 

Kaneki left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: HAYYYY GUYSSSSS I'm sorry I didn't update in so long :'( ANYway I need to know if u guys like the direction this story is going...., so I'm not gonna post anymore until it gets AT LEAST 1 NEW COMMENT! SAYONARA JA NE!!!


	9. wedding planning gone wrong

Kaneki was very busy. He had a lot to do to prepare for the wedding, and was rushing around everywhere to try and get it ready. Right now he was trying to arrange for Anteiku to provide refreshments.

"Alright, guys, this wedding is going to have a lot of ghoul attendees but it's gotta be human friendly too, since i'm gonna invite Hide and I think Tsukiyama might be inviting Chie Hori also. So I want some, uh, "meat" to be available to anyone who needs it, but there has to be some human food as well." 

"I take it you'll want coffee for everyone?" touka asked, using her jealous voice.

"Yeah, and some of those little sandwiches they always serve at parties, you know the ones with the egg salad and stuff? Oh, and I think we should get some of those cupcakes with icing in the center, hide loves those-" 

The purplette kicked the door of the secret meeting room open. "KANEKI-KUUUUUUUN!!!~" he shouted flamboyantly. 

"What are you doing here I told you to go buy a new suit or something?" 

"Kaneki-kin, non Cherie, there is no need for you to get refreshments, it's all under control." 

Balls. 

"Tsukiyama whatever you have planned, no." Kaneki started to smile unnaturally and scream internally. "No no no, ABSOLUTELY NOT. We're not having your weird-ass gourmet cannibalism shit at MY wedding."

"Excuse me, that's OUR wedding! And I was just going to offer to use my billionaire Rich Guy Money to pay for EXPENSIVE QUALITY HUMAN CATERING." Tsukiyama stormed off, hurt, slAmming the door behind him. Then he popped his head back in the door and shouted "BY WHICH I MEAN ***FOR*** HUMANS, not...serving them as food....." Then he was goon. 

Kaneki facepalmed. How stupid of him to say something so stupid right before the wedding? He hadn't meant to hurt Tskiyama. Now it looked like he still didn't trust him........

Toka took kaneki by the shoulder, in a comforting sort of way. 

"Wow, I didn't think it was possible for such a dork like you to screw up so badly" she said. 

Kaneki sat down on the floor and   
Stared off into space, having some sort of internal conflict. 

"....you should probably go and talk to him. You wouldn't want to get to the alter and have him say "I don't", would you,,,?"

"Your right." said kaneki. 

"I am always right." Said touka.

Kanaki ran off to Tsukiysma's room and knocked on the door. "Shuu please come out I wasn't thinking straight this is all my fault" kaneki said, which was the worst apology ever. 

"go away" a muffled voice came from inside the room. "you dont want to come in anyway. you still think i want to kill you." 

Kaneki knew tsukiyama was being serious because he had stopped using French and Italian words. He had screwed up indeed. But he kicked down the door anyway because damn it, he was Kaneki Ken white hair edition, and he was a total badass. He put his arm around the crying purplette in a comforting way, but also a way that would function as a chokehold if things went to shit. 

"I'll trust in you. Anything you say. Tell me how you really feel about me and I promise I'll believe you."

Tsukiyama turned and held Kaneki back. 

"My sweet Kaneki, ever since we met, I've felt like a hole in my life has been filled. At first, I thought it was that you were the ultimate gourmet meal. But I came to realize it was so much more than that. You are so kind, so sweet, so beautiful. To tell you the truth, I haven't thought of you as food for a long time... I love you, Kaneki Ken."

Kaneki started to tear up. All along, he had been the one in this relationship treating the other like garbage. He had said something so cruel after Tsukiyama had only tried to help. Tears dripping down his cheeks, he whispered:

"I love you too, Shuu."

them tsukiyama licked him in the fuckign ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYY GAIZZZ I just wanna thank you all for how successful this fic has been I never thought it would go this far LUV U ALLL UR SO KAWAIIII ~ ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆


	10. THE WEDDING

It was the day of the wedding and all the ghouls and there human friends were excited, except probably Touka.   
Tsukiyama was wearing a white suit with a bedazzled purple tie and matching shoes. he had one of those little corsages pinned to his chest that was a single purple rose. Kaneki was wearing a ravishing black and white wedding dress that was white on the sides and black in the middle, and had lace up the sides and on the sleeves. He was wearing purple high heel shoes so that he could match Tsukiyama in height and color and he had on black eyeliner and purple lipstick. He almost looked like a girl, but it was really masculine lipstick. He had on his kawaiiest purple eyepatch that had lace on it to match his dress. 

for some reason, despite Tsukiamas reassurance, Kaneki had a weird sense of impending doom. 

"Don't worrky, Kaneki-kun, mon amour, everything is going to go as planned." He had said, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together suspiciously. There was no real way for kaneki to argue with this, so instead he wandered off to check on how things were doing elsewhere. 

There were plenty of snacks set out for the guests. Somehow Tsukiyama had managed to acquire a relatively normal looking wedding cake made only out of coffee beans, hot sauce, and Sweet Chilli Heat Doritos. on top of the cake there was 2 tiny yet unnervingly hyper realistic custom made figurines of Kaneku and Tsukiyama. 

Most of the guests were hanging around this table and talking, like people do at weddings, probably. First Kaneki talked to Hide obviously, since he was his best friend. 

"Congrats bro!" Hide shouted, giving Maneki a tackle hug glomp. 

"Thanks bruh" kaneki replied. good old hide was always there to support him. And alive. He was definitely 100% alive, and nothing was ever goign to change that fact. (AN: ;-;)

"Dude wait" said hide, gesturing to the cake, "isn't that the terrifying flamboyant gay man you kept telling me you were having nightmares about?" 

"Nope no clue what you're talking about" said Keneki, hurrying off to the next group of guests. 

also here were a bunch of Tsukiyam's weirdo resteraunt buddies. They seemed to think it was a costume party or something because they were all wearing masks like they had at the resteraunt. They were playing a game of Doritos Roulette when Kaneki approached them to say hello.

"Hey, youre that tasty smelling half-ghoul from a few months ago! I don't suppose you'll be making any future appearances at the restaurant, hmm?" said one of them, slobbering everywhere. 

Kaneki smiled. "Shut the hell up before I fucking eviscerate you."

The group of masked ghouls went home shortly after that. 

Then Keneki decided to go get some pictures taken. Chie Hori was wandering around taking pictures of everything, especially Tsukiyama who was posing sensually in front of the camera. 

"Come and get some pics, kaneki~" he shouted flirtily. "I'll even sign some for you~" 

"Hiya Kaneki-San!" said Chicken Nugget, snapping another photo. 

Kaneki pranced over and had a great time taking hot wedding pics with stukiyama and Chie. 

********************************

A few hours l8r, Kaneki and Tsukiyama were standing together at the altar. Suzuya Juuzou was the wedding officiant. Hinami was the flower girl and was throwing rose petals everywhere. Touka was the ring bearer, and had some solid 24 karat bling for them both. 

"Do you, Kaneki Ken, take this man to be your lawfully wedded spouse?" said Juuzou, twiddling his thumbs. why was he here again? 

there was a long paws. wjat should Kaneki say? was he rushing into this? could this be a MISTAKE? but then he looked over to see tsukiyama, who had a look of pure joy in his face and a tear going down his eye. he knew. 

"I do." 

"Do you, Tsukiyama Shoe, take this man to be YOUR lawfully wedded spouse?"

"Bien sure!~" 

"Great! I now pronounce you husbando and other husbando!" Suzuya said, and then backflipped away like the fantastic acrobat that he was. 

"Alright everybody, time for cake!" kaneko shouted.

*********************************

Kaneki couldnt wait to try this fantastic looking cake, and neither could anyone else. It contained 0% human flesh, which meant everyone could have some! 

To kaneki s surprise, it tasted exactly like human coffee cake, even though it was made out of Doritos. He started to cry. It had been so long since he had real food. Tsukiyama was also crying but he always did that when he had food. all the ghouls were super emotional. Only Hide had no idea what was going on. 

"Wait!" Tsukiyama cried, pulling the two figurines off the cake. He took a bite into the Kaneki one, revealing it to be made out of coffee as well. "I finally got to eat Kaneki-kun~" he said with a grin. 

Everyone had a good laugh, and the camera panned out as if it were some kind of sitcom. it was truly a day to remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is how weddings work right? lol anyway sorry about the wait :/ my mom took my internet away for a month haha but IM BACK NOW


	11. Tres bien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took so long! My mom found my fic and tried to make me delete because it was "too sexual" and "horrifyingly disgusting" so I agreed to tone it down... sorry if that's a bummer but hope you enjoy the chapter anyway LOL ~

Only 2 days after the wedding Kaneki and Tsukiyama were away on their honeymoon. Tokyo was great and all but there wer so many ghouls. there were jsut so many ghouls. So jnstead Tsukiyama offered to fly them both to Hawaii in his massive jumbo jet (an: I'd ride tsukiyama's massive jumbo jet any day WINK WONK) and they would spend a week there as newlywed husbandos. Kanepki sighed at the thought . They were married now~ They had their whole lives ahead of them <3

It was a beautiful day in Hawaii. KAneki gazed out onto the beach from the window of their private hotel room and sighed. They would spend endless hours on the beach and in the sun. No more gritty blood covered streets in Tokyo, just SWEET PARADISE. 

Kaneki and Tsukiyama were checking out their sweet new room together. It had a desk, a flat screen hd TV, and one comfy lookin bed. 

"Boy I'm tired" said kanikki. It had been a long flight to Honolulu. He wanted to jump right in the pool like Haru from free, but at the same time he wanted to lay in bed and embrace the void of unconsciousness. "Wait a minute" he said, "there's only one bed here!" 

"Well I suppose I will just have to take the sofa then" said tsukyima like a true gentleman. He blinked softly. 

"Wait" said kaneki, " we're married. We can just share a bed." 

"Oh right. But if we do that, I doubt there'll be much sleeping going on~" the purple man whispered flirtily. Kaneki blushed. 

"Heh,., damn straight " He responded.

Kaneki was feeling a lot braver now, after having been through so much. He had been kidnapped. He had been tortured. And now, he had been married. He was ready to take it up a notch. 

"Shuuu, I want to try something new,"   
Kaneki said pushing Tsukiyama onto the bed. 

"I've been watching some ghoul porn lately and I found that some ghouls are into kagune stuff... This time, let me be the one who eats you." 

The gourmet's jaw dropped, but then twisted into a pervy smile. "Now now min Cherie, I thought we agreed we couldn't eat our family members?" 

"Its a metaphor, you cannibalistic trash." Kaneki sighd 

"Kaneki I thought surely by now you understood that-" 

"SHOOSH." He put his index finger to the purplette's face. "try and use that running joke ONE MORE TIME and you won't have any lips left to say it with."

Kaneki pulled out his kagune, which was still the usual 4 red tentacles looking thing. His orbs turned from brown to black and red as he sized up Tsukiyama. The look of fear on Tsukiyamas face was super hot. 

"Now I know I used to be the uke in this relationship, but if you try to seme me with YOUR kagune I will be neatly shredded into two halves." Kaneji said. He used 2 of his tentacles and restrained Tsukiyama with them, and used a third to gently caress his face. He was crying sweet sexual tears, but he was totally into it. 

"Mom amour, do whatever you wish. I am your obedient servant." 

Kaneki's kagune started tingling erotically as he stroked Tsukiyamas now naked body. There was some moaning. (AN: I'll let you imagine what he was doing with the 4th tentacle.)

Once it was over, the centipede and the gourmet laid on the bed, all tuckered out. 

"Magnifique..." the purplette cooed. 

"Tres bien" the white haired boy agreed.

"What will we do tomorrow, my love?" 

"Well, I was really hoping we could go swimming." Kaneki confessed. 

"Bien sure~ and after that I was thinking I might try something new?" 

"Hell yes" said Kaneki, and the purplette grinned. 

And so the two had a beautiful vacation in kawaii Hawaii, going swimming and eating pineapples and going to luaus and doing whatever the duck it is people do in Hawaii.


End file.
